Going through “The Change”

I grew up differently than everyone else. We didn’t call housework “chores.” Housework was referred to as “You do this right now or I’m going to bust your butt, mister!” We didn’t call punishments “demerits.” We had “Go out there and cut me a hickory switch! If it’s not good enough I’ll make you get another one! Then I’ll make you wish you got a good one the first time!” Long, but effective!

Fast forward a few years to me between my freshman and sophomore years in high school. I got the opportunity to go to a summer camp with the Upward Bound program. The first few days I felt like I had went to a foreign country. The counselors used terms like “chores” and “demerits.” There was an imposed curfew, lights out and bed time. If I had stayed at home that summer I could have stayed up all night long if I had wanted to. This was an interesting change to my lifestyle from home.

Fast forward to August 13, 2016. I have been on this bariatric diet for two weeks now. I think I have been doing a fantastic job. Have I lost any weight? I don’t know. Have I cheated? Oh, absolutely! We all do when we’re dieting, right? Right? You had better have answered YES to that! However, there is a night and day difference between what I was eating and what I am eating now. I haven’t raided the vending machine in two weeks. Okay, I went one time because I didn’t bring enough food for my 10 hour shift at work. I got beef jerky. Then I realized how much sodium was in one package. I won’t be doing that again!

I have finally realized, truly realized, that there is nothing in that vending machine that is even remotely healthy. Not even the granola bars. Just because it is a healthier option doesn’t mean it is a good option. That machine haunts me! I can hear it calling me from my desk. When I am sitting in the break room during my lunch break eating a salad I hear it calling me.

“Andy! Andy! Andy! Come and get some Ruffles! Just think about how good they will taste! Don’t stop at one bag! You know one bag isn’t going to be enough to satisfy your craving!”

I stare at it. I look at each and every item thinking: “Would that really be that bad?” Then I stop myself. “YES! Andy! YES! It would be!” I really want some Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream chips. I want them with sour cream and onion dip. I want an entire family size bag and tub all to myself! I can’t though! Not even one chip!

I went to the grocery store three times last week. I had the hardest time shopping. Prior to starting this diet I had gotten into a bad habit of buying freezer meals. At the time I didn’t think I was buying terribly unhealthy food. It was either something from Trader Joe’s (they have an absolutely amazingly delicious selection of frozen Asian food) or the organic section of Fred Meyer. After starting this diet I REALLY got to looking at the sodium, fat and carbohydrates in the nutrition facts. It was shocking!

This diet truly is a lifestyle change. If I am going to have bariatric weight loss surgery, I have got to make it a permanent change. Going out to eat will be happening a lot less. Preparing food at home will be happening a lot more. It’s a good thing my partner and I love to cook (we just wish we had more time to do it … and a cleaner kitchen to do it in)! It’s one of the hardest lifestyle changes I have had to make. Even harder than getting used to being away from home at summer camp. At least with summer camp I knew there would be a time when I would get to go back home and resume my normal life. I can’t ever go back to my previous eating habits! Maybe I need someone to beat me when I eat the wrong things? We’ve got plenty of bamboo canes!

Even going through the grocery store is a new battle. Even if you stay on the outside perimeter of the store. Every aisle I go down I see everything differently. I don’t see what they’re trying to sell me. I see one of the following: carbs, sugar, fat, sodium. Canned soup? No, it’s canned liquid salt. Suddenly Salad anyone? How about Suddenly Fat! I think not!

One would think that they could order a tuna sandwich from Jimmy John’s, right? That sounds healthy. OH NO! 1,700 mg of sodium. I had no idea it was a salt lick. Maybe that’s why it is so good? I won’t even talk about the carbs! 2,414 mg in the Italian Night Club (my personal favorite). 3,534 mg in the Gargantuan. How did I or anyone else not instantly die after eating the Gargantuan? Goodbye Jimmy John’s. I will miss you!

I still have a long way to go before I am eating right! I am doing good right now, but it could be a whole lot better. I am eating better foods, but I still need to work on portion size. An omelet recipe in the South Beach diet cookbook calls for 3 eggs. Says that it serves 2 people. Mind boggling! I used to eat 3 eggs in my own personal omelet. I need to focus on eating while I am eating. We still sit in front of the television for dinner. Perhaps it’s time to go get the table cleared off once and for good!

I just wish these cravings would go away! I am really wanting a pizza from Costco right now. I want to go out for Mexican food! I want Chinese food! Jesus, take the wheel!

NOTE: In regards to the first paragraph. I was spanked for misbehaving, but it was not abuse. It was included as a humorous way to tie in other thoughts in this entry.

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